A Little Hello…

Friends, it’s been a while…

I never meant to take such a prolonged break from writing. It was 8 years ago in March since I started this little old blog (8 years! Imagine that?!) and while it has peaked and floundered to varying degrees over the years, it’s a passion I always come back to. Life draws me away sometimes, and more recently the challenges of re-entering the working world after three long years of maternity leave and lockdowns as a mum of three have hampered me more than usual in finding time for my own pursuits. But no matter how up in the air and chaotic my personal life is, this has always felt like a place of solace. I have no idea if anyone is out there listening anymore, but it still feels good to come back to a place in which I’ve always felt at home and truly myself, so here I am once again, updating my little corner of the Internet about what’s been going on in my life as if I’ve never been away! Kind of like that annoying friend you went to school with that pops up in your DMs from time to time pretending to be interested in your life so they can sell you skinny tea or crypto. Except I’m not asking you to buy anything. In fact, I’m not asking you for anything at all, except perhaps to let me know if you read this so I know I’m not shouting into the wind.

It’s never been about not having things to say. I have, in fact, so many things to say that I can’t quite find the way to organise my jumbled up thoughts enough to get them down on paper. I cannot count the times I have opened my laptop, sat in front of my drafts or with a blank page waiting to go and just haven’t been able to express what I’m feeling. I’m feeling so very much at the moment – and have done over the last year since I last updated – that the quick half an hour I manage to find on lunch breaks or between jobs or before the children wake up just doesn’t feel like enough. It’s a hard enough task as it is trying to make sense of my emotions in this crazy life stage. To try and explain the complex and often contradictory workings of my inner mind. A lot has happened since we spoke last. I turned 40. We got married. We moved house twice thanks to a massive building job we didn’t expect to have to deal with! My babies continue to grow with what feels like every second, with Bailey starting school today and the twins starting preschool in just half a term. And we’ve had childcare disaster after childcare disaster to contend with which never helps with time and space to reflect. It’s a lot to take in and it’s not been easy. Our wedding was wonderful and filled with joy, but it also brought up some emotions I didn’t expect that stuck with me for a while. I’ve been back at work nearly a year yet I still feel like the new girl. And I’m not coping all that well with the transition out of the baby stages and into the ‘work mum with school age kids’ phase. There is a definite sense in my soul of something coming to an end and I don’t know quite what to make of it, which is making life all rather confusing for now.

I don’t really know what the point of this post is to be honest. Maybe it’s a way for me to kickstart what I’ve always found a cathartic process and get some of these thoughts out in the open? Maybe its a way of distracting myself altogether by falling back into the rabbit hole of planning posts and prepping content and scheduling things? Either way, I guess what I’m saying is, I’ve missed you guys, and I’ve missed writing. And I’ve been feeling quite overwhelming urges to let you know everything that’s going on over here, even though I’ve not been able to find the words. So thank you if you made it this far – hopefully I’ll have something more worthy of reading to share with you soon. Either way though, thank you for being the space I’ve always needed to gather myself, the place I gravitate to when life feels like “a lot”. I hope to be back posting more regularly soon and I’d love it if someone were out there reading.

Much Love,

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