Nothing marks the passing of time quite like a birthday. Particularly a thirty-something birthday, like I had the other week. They also have a pesky habit of making you step back and analyse the nitty gritty of your life, where you’ve come from and where you’re going (if you know, that is. I’m not entirely sure I do yet!). Relax – this isn’t going to be a melancholy lament about opportunities missed and ticking biological clocks (though I’m sure there will be plenty of that to come in future posts!) but you can’t go through a couple of years of age milestones, new jobs, house moves and an engagement without doing at least some self reflection, so I thought, why reflect privately and quietly like everyone else when you can publish your musings about life on the Internet for all to see and ridicule?!
Past Steph would have told you that by now I would be married with a couple of kids, a nice house and a non-descript, middle of the road but okay paying job somewhere (doing what, I’m not entirely sure, Past Steph never seemed very good at visualising that bit!). Fast forward to current day and things don’t quite look like that. I’m not married. I haven’t yet procreated. I still rent. By Past Steph’s standards I’m only ticking one out of four boxes. Does this bother me? Sometimes. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that in my late twenties I didn’t go through a period of sheer panic and angst, wondering when it was all going to happen. I definitely still have the occasional wine-fuelled crying session when I’ve had a particularly tough week at work or another friend announces the soon to come pitter patter of tiny feet (please say you do that too girls – that’s normal, right??) but you know what? Since turning 30, things really aren’t looking too shabby for me. I am engaged to a wonderful someone. Sure, I’m still renting, but that’s a cross many of my generation have to bear, and I love the home we’ve built here even if it isn’t our ‘forever home’. I have two beautiful nieces who, in between being utterly adorable, remind me that there are many perks to being child free and time hasn’t run out just yet (besides, becoming a parent to a puppy last year was enough to handle for now). By all accounts, I’m a pretty lucky lady, and while some find the big 3-0 terrifying, with every year that passes since that famously ominous date, I relax a little bit more. Being thirty-something beats being twenty-something hands down, and these days my Birthday musings are more about counting my blessings and far less about worrying about what I haven’t yet achieved. Hell, Distant Past Steph would have said I’d be married to a Backstreet Boy and designing my own range of platform boots on the side of a successful movie career, so who knows how things will actually pan out?! I’m sure 42yr Old Steph will look back and laugh and Present Steph and these trivial ramblings (particularly now that I’ve decided to immortalise them).
There was one thing though, that I did feel I needed to rectify, hence why ‘Picking the Day’ was born. Writing is a passion that I’ve neglected over the years, so after wrangling with the fear that someone might actually read this, and then the even more consuming fear that they might wonder why the hell I bothered writing it in the first place, I decided to bite the bullet and go for it. I’m not expecting it to set the world on fire, it will be full of bus rants, Beagles and shoes, with pictures of dresses, Beagles and shoes (not the subjects of my bus rants though – that would be weird. And possibly a bit stalkerish) – Basically a load of self indulgent nonsense. But if you enjoy Beagles, shoes and complaining about public transport as much as me, feel free to join me for the ride!