To Chop or Not To Chop….

Well, that last post was a whole load of bleak and self indulgent rambling, wasn’t it? Sorry ’bout that. I guess everyone needs some time every now and then to dwell on events and work out what to do next, so rather than depress you all with the progress of my misery I decided to take a little time out. Wallowing all done though, and I’m back! I haven’t found my silver lining just yet (except that Bake Off is back of course, let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth…), but the time comes for everyone when you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and crack on, and hope the silver lining will find you later, so here goes!

Now, everyone who has ever watched a 90’s teen rom com knows the best way to get over something like this is, of course, a makeover, and I’ve had one of sorts. I’ve lost a stone (I’d love to say that’s because of a new found passion for exercise, but it’s actually lack of appetite, worse luck, so I’m sure I’ll pile it back on soon enough!), I’ve topped up my tan, bought some nice new undies to make me feel good and dyed my hair dark(er) again. Then I decided to get a new ‘do, and that’s when things got tricky. Why oh why oh why is getting your hair cut so hard as a girl??

First of all, there is the indecisiveness. I never have a clue what I actually want to so with my hair, just that I want it DIFFERENT, NOW! Normally I turn to Facebook and have a little flick through my photos of past hairstyles, but that has it’s own problems. It usually becomes a game of haircut tennis, where I switch between choppitoff keepitlong choppitoff keepitlong about every other second. But then the reminiscing starts. Oooh, wasn’t it nice when it was short? Get a bob. No wait, remember that awesome fringe? Definitely do that. But the bob was nice…. and so on and so on…… But then you remember the post hair-cut woes! Remember when your hair was too short to tie back? That sucked! And having to blow dry and straighten that fringe every morning? And how it just insisted on parting down the middle no matter what you did? Pain in the bum. So what to do??

Eventually I move on from my own pics and start drooling over pics of celebrities, as if somehow I think stealing their hairstyle might inexplicably make me look a bit like them. Oh, and forgetting of course that my hair is not actually anything like theirs. And that I don’t have the luxury of a professional blow-dry every day or a stylist following me round to make sure the bounce doesn’t drop out of my curls (which, come to think of it, sounds a little tedious!). I think, ‘Hey, I could rock Zooey Deschanel’s ‘do!’ forgetting I’d need hair about 10 times thicker than mine to look like that. When things get really bad, I find myself eyeing up Blake Lively’s 30’s style finger wave thinking maybe that’s the way to go. You know, if I were blonde. And could do finger waves. And my hair was 4 inches longer….! Then of course, in the final couple of days before the deed is done, you suddenly start feeling some kind of sad nostalgia for your current hair. Like, doesn’t it look nice today? Maybe I should just get a trim after all? Maybe I should just spend the money on more shoes instead?

Essentially, up until the moment I sit in front of the mirror and the stylist says, ‘So, what are we doing today?’ I’m still pretty much undecided. So when she puts me on the spot and asks the question? My brain just reverts back to the last image I looked at. Which thankfully appeared to be Zooey, because…..:

Walking out of the salon with a new ‘do feels pretty great, because seriously, is it actual magic they put in those bottles of expensive smelling stuff? Whatever it is, it leaves your hair so shiny and soft and bouncy that you just can’t help admiring yourself in every window you walk past. For all of half a day, you’re all, ‘This was the BEST idea. I totes look JUST like Zooey!” It’s a happy time, and next time you get your hair done, remember it and cherish it, because guess what. The next day you wake up and BOOM! You have a fringe again. And it still insists on parting down the middle like last time. And you still have to blowdry and straighten it every morning. And OMG, you just realised, you look NOTHING like Zooey. WHY DID YOU DO THIS?? Please grow. Please grow quickly.

Think before you chop, people!

Love,

P.s – Since writing this, I’ve also suffered 30 degree heat and sweaty fringe one day, then frizzy rained-on fringe the next. The struggle is real. #fringeproblems.

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