Arooooo Readers!
It’s been a while since I wrote something here, and since Mummy just goes on and on about shoes all the time and moans about how sad it is she isn’t still on holiday (a holiday that I was not invited to, by the way – how rude is that??) I thought it was about time I took over and filled you in on all the things you must be dying to know! Like how are the walkies?? Who are the top dogs on the block?? What do all the lampposts smell like and have I found any good mud patches to roll in?? It’s all been going off here, I tell you. Sooooooo much to tell you about!
So, when Mummy said we were moving to Loughborough I wasn’t too sure. I mean, it is where I was born and all those fields to run around really did sound like fun, but let’s face it – life is pretty cushty for me here at Nana and Grandad’s. Firstly, Mummy lets me sleep on her bed pretty much every night even though she keeps saying she’s definitely going to stop. It’s a good job I’m there really though, because she misses out on all the fun with all that sleeping, so I like to wake her up when something exciting happens, like a cat walking across the neighbour’s roof or a mystery creak downstairs that could be an intruder. Or another cat. Or someone with treats!! OMG WHAT IF IT IS SOMEONE WITH TREATS?! Can’t have her snoozing through all that excitement can I? So I wake her up ’cause I’m nice like that. Secondly, it’s all inclusive here, which is pretty awesome. Nana tells Granddad not to spoil me, then gives me leftover fish or chicken from her dinner when he isn’t looking. And Grandad tells Nana not to treat me, then gives me the empty Dairylea tub or the end of the bread when she’s not looking. And Mummy? She is easy. I just have to give her the puppy eyes when she’s cooking and I know there will be a piece of cheese coming my way…! Stoopid humans. So yeah, moving to a new house with Mummy and Danny sounded a bit scary, but since these mini cat things have moved in and started stealing all the attention, I thought I’d go along with it and give it a try.
The first trip was a little traumatic, I’m not gonna lie. I DO NOT like the car, so I’m glad it’s only going to be once a week I have to do the trip. Mummy felt bad about how nervous I was, so they took me to a new place called Pets at Home where I got to sniff out all the food and pick a new bed. I got a new crate, new bowls and lots of new toys, and of course Mummy couldn’t resist buying some more treats at the checkout – told you, EASY. The only downside was that just as I was about to introduce myself to what I think is called a Bunny Rabbit, Mummy pulled me away and made me leave. Bit rude if you ask me…
Then they took me home, and while it annoys me to admit it, they’ve actually done a pretty good job. I have my own spot for my crate and bowls, a hidey hole in the living room next to the sofa so I can get some quiet time when strangers come round and those toys Danny picked out for me are actually pretty fun – especially my Kong Wubba! Best of all though – I HAVE MY OWN GARDEN! I get to go out there all the time, except when Danny is mowing the lawn, but that’s ok, ’cause I don’t really like that mower, and it’s fun to watch…! They still let me jump on the bed every morning, and Danny’s snuggly blankets are pretty darn good for sofa cuddles so I guess it’s ok here. I do have three complaints though – Mummy, if you’re reading, sort this out please. Firstly – why do the treats live in a separate tiny room? I cannot get them because you keep closing the door! I’m sure you don’t realise you are making this mistake, but if you could just be a doll and remember to leave me with access, that would be great, ok? Secondly – why does the bin also live behind a closed door? This is very inconvenient to me. You put all the good stuff in there. I tried the one in the kitchen but it was just filled with cardboard and plastic? Though those empty bottles are pretty fun to chase around the kitchen floor, so thanks for that I suppose…. Lastly – when I have spent a good half an hour rolling in delicious sheeps droppings, it is incredibly frustrating for you to make me have a bath immediately afterwards. It took work to get me smelling that good, and fresh sheep poo is hard to come by, do you realise this? Getting the hose out was not appreciated, and I expect you to schedule bathtimes more appropriately in future. I do hope we don’t have to talk about this again….
Most importantly though, my social life has been very busy since arriving here – as you can imagine, EVERYONE wants to be my friend, because I’m awesome. First I met Maverick and Rocky over at Danny’s Mum & Dad’s house. I was a little bit shy to start with, because Mummy said Maverick liked to be the boss, but after a short while I had him eating out of my paw, of course. He loves me. Rocky was ok I guess, but he kept trying to sneak more cuddles off Mummy while I was busy stealing their toys, and I wasn’t going to stand for that. I’m going to have to keep an eye on Rocky I think… The next day I met my two new walking buddies, Maggie and Lola, who were kind enough to show me all the best places to go walkies. We went round to their house for dinner that night (which, again, they did not share – what is it with this human rudeness??) and I discovered that Maggie and Lola have a toy at their house that I do not have – apparently it is called a baby? It looked like a tiny human, but it was a lot more noisy. It must be a great toy, because everyone wanted to have a go, especially Mummy, who didn’t put it down all night. I tried to get up on the sofa for a good sniff, but Mummy kept telling me to get down. Selfish. I will have to try and inspect a bit closer next time and report back on my findings….
So that’s about all for now, I can’t wait to find out what other fun things my new home brings!
Love,
Picking the Day 