The Joy & Dread of the Liebster Award

Writing a blog was full of conflicts for me. Because, on the one hand, I was desperate to flex my creative muscles and join in that fun, fashion-loving community I’d found on t’Internet. But then on the other hand, was that crippling anxiety. That someone might find it, read it, and god forbid, declare it the biggest pile of claptrap they’d ever read! Still, a few years later, I have no regrets. I love my little blog, and the piles of claptrap I write here, even if I have a relatively modest following. The doubts still creep in though – that nagging fear of being judged. It’s why I rarely promote my posts. It’s why I don’t really talk about it with ‘real people’ other than a few close friends and family. And it’s why writing posts like this – responding to being nominated for the Liebster Award – scare the crap outta me!

See, the initial feeling when you see that tag is great – Oh wow, someone reads my blog! But then comes the anxiety – Oh crap, SOMEONE READS MY BLOG!! I am not invisible! Take me back to the safety of anonymity quick before someone notices and ridicules me!! Yes – I know this is all nuts. I gave up on trying to work out the ways of my twisted, conflicted inner self years ago! So that is why normally I don’t tend to join in with these things, but when Sarah at Lifewithlilred – a lady far more more competent and together at this than I am – nominated me I decided to swallow the inexplicable desire in me to run away and hide, take the acknowledgement on the chin and write the darn post despite my fears. Because at the very least, it’s nice to get to know one another a little better, right? And to be fair if you have made it this far without giving up and reading something else you must find me at least a tiny bit interesting…. (either that or you’re just morbidly curious and into car crashes – either way, thanks for sticking it out!)

As I’m sure you’ll all know, the rules are as follows:

• Acknowledge the blog that gave it to you and display the award.
• Answer the 11 questions that the blogger gives you.
• Give 11 random facts about yourself.
• Nominate 11 blogs and notify them of their nomination.
• Give these blogs 11 questions to answer

And here are the questions Sarah asked:

What is your favorite thing that you have done this summer?

Honestly, this one is hard to answer, because we’ve had such a great Summer this year, but I guess my favourite thing has been how many opportunities it has given us to get outside with the doggie and eat, drink and have fun with our friends in the sunshine. I know – booooring answer! But it’s true!

What is your favorite type of weather?

Hands down, 100%, sunshine! I think I was a lizard in a former life. People go on about the beauty of Autumn and the cosiness of Winter all the time, and I’m like BITCH! NO! Give me all that sunshine, because being cold and wet just plain old sucks. SUCKS, I TELL THEE! We don’t get ‘pretty’ seasons here in the UK, so I can only assume those people are talking about Instagram seasons, not real ones….

Who is a celebrity that you can’t stand?

I like to think of myself as a really tolerant, accepting person, but the truth is there isn’t one, there is a whole list of them. And I don’t have reasons. I just hate them inexplicably. I see their faces and feel rage FOR NO REASON. These poor people have done absolutely nothing to invoke this reaction in me, it’s just plain, unreasonable fact. Kirsten Stewart is one. Claire Danes is another. Don’t ask me why I can’t stand Julia Stiles. I’m just an asshole, basically.

What is one of your guilty pleasures?

Musicals. I freakin’ love them. I WILL buy the soundtrack, and I WILL blast it in my car as soon as I can drive, and I WILL be that cringe person that gets beeped at when the lights go green because I was too busy jammin’ in my imagination with Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth to notice they’d changed….

Do you take pictures on your phone or with a camera?

Both. I spent lots of money on a fancy camera that I completely forget to take out with me anytime I go anywhere blog-worthy, soooo…….

What is your favorite form of social media?

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. If you read to the intro to this post then I probably don’t need to explain why… Still, after initially finding it mind boggling and incredibly superficial, I have finally found my stride with Instagram, and have managed to find myself the most wonderful little community of stylish, supportive women my age who love talking about fashion and aren’t constantly dripping in clothes I can’t afford or frolicing in exotic new destinations every week (I’m not knocking those girls by the way, power to ’em, it just isn’t a life I can relate to, and it isn’t actually one I aspire to either) So I guess it has to be Insta!

Other than blogging, what is your preferred hobby?

Eating and drinking. Food makes me so excited. Gin makes me so excited. An event with food and gin – basically my heaven.

What was the last series that you binge watched?

I’ve probably binge watched all the usual suspects on Netflix. What is probably slightly less expected is that I also have an incredible talent for wasting entire days watching back to back true crime documentaries on Amazon Prime. The grislier the better. I’m possibly a psychopath…

What book is on your night stand right now?

Embarrassingly, there isn’t one – I LOVE to read, but I am so bad at putting aside time to do it. I keep promising that will change, but it never does, and the last book I read was this one on holiday which I recently reviewed. Please comment with your recommendations – I challenge you to pull me out of my reading rut!

Describe a perfect day out.

Me, Dan, the dog, some of our best friends, sunshine, food gin. That is all I need. Though if it happened to be on a Greek Island, that would also be cool….

What is your favorite flower?

I’m terrible at these questions because I don’t really have a favourite anything – I am possibly the most fickle person I know and change my mind more frequently than I change my pants (which I promise is daily!) I love all the Insta faves – Peonies, Wisteria, Bougainvillea, Hydrangeas, Sunflowers…. I love Lilies, but the mess annoys me… I love Roses because they smell so beautiful… I can’t leave Ikea without a new Orchid… But the ones closest to my heart are probably Sweet Peas because they remind me of my Grandad, so Dan built me a planter to grow my own and they make me smile every day.

11 Facts about me:

1 – I live right smack bang in the middle of the country, but I was born on the coast and always feel at peace when I’m near the sea

2 – I am 35 and I still can’t drive. I know…. working on it though!

3 – My dog and I share a birthday! She was the born on my 30th and the best gift life has given me so far (cringe)

4 – Thanks to a couple of house moves and me being a little bit too scared to count them again, I have lost count of how many pairs of shoes I own. I’m pretty sure I have crossed the 100 line though…

5 – Dan and I met at work, and right up until today were in the same team! Everyone thinks that must be awful but I have loved it and will really miss him when he starts his new job next week (a whole 20 feet away from where he sits now….) True fact: my sister also works in the same department – I love working with her a tiny bit less. But only a little bit!

6 – I pretty much wish I was Audrey Hepburn

7 – I once lived in France for a while which was a great experience, but made me realise how much we take for granted what it means to live in a country where we know the language, can work freely and are accepted by the community. Anyone who thinks people move to a foreign country as the ‘easy’ option are nuts… I found it freakin’ hard and incredibly isolating, and I was only a few hours away from home in a country not totally unlike my own in culture

8 – I can’t remember life before dry shampoo…

9 – I can’t see a furry animal without wanting to touch it. It’s like a sickness. I will find a way to touch your dog, sorry (not sorry). Normally nothing sinister, I’ll just sidle up to you when you’re waiting to cross the road and adopt a bit of a lean. THEY’RE JUST SO BLOODY CUTE! (That did actually sound really sinister…)

10 – Dolphins hate me. Every time I go on holiday I try to see them, and the f*****s always hide. On purpose. It is a conspiracy. Everyone in our hotel will be like, ‘Ooooooh we saw them today, they were so cute, the captain said they’ve been out every day so far this week!’ and I’ll be like ‘THIS WILL BE THE TIME!!’ and we will get up at the crack of dawn after parting with an extortionate amount of cash and picking the perfect weather conditions and – DIDDLY EFFING SQUAT. They literally hate me.

11 – I am dying inside at the thought of hitting publish on this post and I have no real idea why!

I am going to completely wimp out of nominating anyone because, again, that brings with it crushing anxiety. What if I miss someone? What if they think this means I don’t like them? What if the people I do nominate are annoyed at me? What if everyone reading this right now is annoyed at me (very possibly – this ongoing dialogue I have with myself is extremely irritating I’m sure…) but I do love the idea that this could be a chance to discover new blogs so I invite all of you to introduce yourself in the comments and link back to your little corner of the Internet!

Thanks again to Sarah for the nomination – I bet this is the weirdest response you’ve ever seen!

Love,

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