I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I don’t really like people. I love my own people, and truth be told I get a little lonely sometimes when they aren’t around. It’s been a big adjustment getting used to not seeing the same person everyday after living with them for 7 years. But there are times when I just want to be alone.
Work is still pretty full on at the moment, and I’m somewhat in demand from all directions. My team always seem to need my help or guidance on something. My ‘customers’ want to feedback to me or escalate things. My colleagues want my input on something and my boss wants me to justify one thing or another. They can’t help it – it’s just my job – but it can get on top of me sometimes, feeling like I’m constantly required. There are times when I feel as though if I have to hear my name one more time, I’m going to snap, and I want nothing more at the end of the day than to hide myself away and shut the world out. These are the days when deciding what to eat for tea or realising I forgot to turn the washing machine on just feel like a dilemma too far, and can sometimes turn me into a weepy mess.
I can’t shut myself off entirely, of course, I live with my family again now and even with the best intentions it’s hard to share a living space with people and not have to engage in at least some conversation with them. So what I normally do on days like this is grab the pup and go for a long walk.
My Mum and Dad are loving having the dog around lately, one of the main reasons being all the new friends they’re making while walking her. They love to stop and have a chat with fellow dog walkers and coo over each others beloved pooches. Me, on the other hand, well I have a little game I like to play. I like to see if I can make it the whole walk without having to talk to anyone. I literally go out of my way to avoid having to talk to another person, even if that means changing directions or making the walk a good 20 minutes longer. I’m actually getting quite good at it, and have mapped out the best times and routes to go for minimum human contact. Yep, I’m that committed to being alone. Sometimes I also like to pretend we’re in a zombie apocalypse and that any other person I see is a member of the walking dead, but the less said about that the better….
It’s not just because I don’t like people, it’s good for me, the peace. It’s good for the soul, a good walk. Plenty of quiet time to calm down my overactive brain and sort through my thoughts. A lot of good thinking gets done on them and I normally come back feeling ten times better than I did when I set off, especially now the summer nights have drawn in. Something about the sun low in the sky, bouncing off the water, the cool breeze on my face, the smell of cut grass and the sound of the birds roosting for the evening makes me feel like life is good, no matter what has been going on during the day. I almost feel good enough to speak to humans again. Only my own humans though…
Maybe I should just become a professional dog walker?