As much as I like to think I’m a down to earth, easy going person, I have to admit that even I have a tendency to overreact at times (my family are now snickering at this, exclaiming ‘Really?? Just sometimes??’ I can see it now…) The strange thing is, I seem to manage to maintain my calm at some of the toughest times. I’m often surprised at how tough I can be when a crisis hits. No, it’s not major drama that brings out the diva in me, quite the opposite, in fact. It’s actually the tiny little things. I can be having the nicest day, then a small, inconsequential thing can suddenly cause me to feel like punching someone, or throwing myself on the ground toddler style in a flood of tears. I don’t, obvs. I’m not a total loony. But the urge is there in my gut. Here are some of those silly little things that get my emotions running on overdrive…
1. People correcting my pronunciation of the word ‘latte’
Now, I’m not one of those annoying people who corrects everybody’s grammar (though I’ll openly admit I will judge you in silence if you get your and you’re the wrong way round on a regular basis) however, I do pride myself on using the English language correctly myself, so if you tell me I’m the one saying it wrong, I’m likely to get a little wound up. This one seems to be the most common occurrence. 99% of the population say the word Latte incorrectly, probably thanks to the Americanisation of coffee culture, and to be honest it bears no odds to me that this is the case. I don’t even judge people for saying it wrong because pretty much everyone says it wrong. I do judge, however, when I’m ‘put right’. Pretty much every time I order it does like this:
Me: Can I get a la-tay please?
Server: You mean a laaaarrrrr-tay?
Me: No, I mean a la-tay
Server: Ok, here’s your laaaarrrr-tay
Me: IT’S A F*****G LA-TAY FOR EFFS SAKE, AND YOU AREN’T AMERICAN!!!
2. See Also: People who mispronounce people’s names
Now, you can’t blame people for struggling to say the names of some fashion houses wrong, they’re often foreign and some frankly in no way resemble the spelling of the word, so I don’t get upset at people who simply don’t know that Hermes should be pronounced Airrr-mez, for example. What does annoy me though, is when people simply design another way of saying it, and will continue to do despite knowing full well it’s wrong. Case in point: the way the world has decided Christian Louboutin (Loo-boo-tan) is now called Christian Loo-ber-ton, for which I entirely blame The Kardashians. Thanks for that, Kim. People seem to forget that it isn’t simply a word, it is someone’s name, and you can’t simply decide it sounds better another way. It’s so rude! I had a friend at Uni called Rhiannon. She didn’t mind it being shortened to Rhi, but people had a nasty habit of calling her Rhian, which in Wales is actually an entirely different name. No matter how many times she asked people not to they continued, and simply couldn’t understand why it pissed her off so much because ‘it was basically the same’. Mind boggling!
3. More than one of the same thing open
I know I’m not alone on this one. I just can’t stand it when someone can’t be bothered to look in the fridge or cupboard properly so just open the first jar or bottle to hand. This normally results in the older one going off and getting wasted, which normally results in me wanting to throw things.
4. Things being put where they don’t belong
I’m not in any way an obsessively tidy person. That said, I do like to have things in order and for some reason best known to the inner workings of my brain everything has a logical place where it should live. When someone upsets that balance, they upset me. Once I had a housemate who insisted on putting a glass mixing bowl in with the eating bowls, and you have no idea how much this would wind me up. It also is a bit of a pain in the arse, as it means I’m the only one who can be trusted to put all the shopping away. Seriously, it’s just for the best, or I’ll end up having to rearrange everything anyway.
5. Cross contamination
On a similar note, I really can’t stand it when people cross contaminate food. Think toast crumbs in the butter or using the same spoon to serve the rice and then the curry. It really shouldn’t matter quite so much as it will all mix up on my plate and in my belly, but it just feels WRONG!
6. People who dress inappropriately for the weather
You’re starting to realise how irrational some of these are now, aren’t you? This one is probably the worst on that front. I’m hardly a role model when it comes to dressing appropriately for an occasion, and it literally couldn’t affect my life less, but when I see a girl wearing Ugg boots in the middle of a heatwave, or flip flops and a maxi when it’s pissing down with rain, meaning the bottom gets all soggy and mucky, I take an instant dislike to that person, and I can’t even tell you why.
7. Indecisive pedestrians
You know when a group of people get to the bottom of an escalator and then just stop because they seemingly can’t remember where they want to go? I hate those people.
And yet, I also hate people that get impatient about having to wait. Like those people who tut and exhale loudly in traffic jams or start getting fidgety if the queue at the bar is longer than 2 people long. I really can’t be pleased, can I?
9. Noisy chewers
I used to think this one was irrational too until I found out it’s a genuine condition. Honest to god, Google it. It’s actually not my constant grumpiness that makes me want to scratch out my eyes when someone eats crisps or smacks their gum on the bus – it’s medical, ok?
10. People assuming my dog is a boy
Ok, so this one is probably the worst one. It’s certifiable that I get upset when someone says, ‘Aw, isn’t he gorgeous’ about my dog. See, in my mind she’s just too pretty to be a boy. Why it bothers me so much though, I’ll never know.
Hmm. Maybe I’m not so laid back afterall. Oh well. I stand by every one of them. Well, except the dog thing. That one is definitely weird….
Any silly things that fill you full of rage?