Before we start, it’s important to me that you understand that I have not been on a holiday in almost 9 years. That’s not to say I haven’t been away. I’ve had the odd girly weekend away in Amsterdam and Paris. There was a Hen Do in Porto, Portugal. And lets not forget the surprise trip to Barcelona that I bored you all about a few weeks ago. But these were all trips, not holidays. The same way a couple of days in Wales is not a holiday. To me there are a few things, you see, besides getting on a plane or visiting another country, that make a holiday a holiday, and not simply a trip.
Firstly, there must be sunshine. It doesn’t have to be super hot or anything, but I do need to wake up on at least half of the mornings to see sunshine in the sky, not dark clouds or the threat of rain. I want to be able to go out at night without a jacket and wear clothes that I probably wouldn’t have the guts to at home. Otherwise, it is not a holiday. There also must be a beach. I know some people aren’t fans of the beach, and I’m not going to insist on spending all day there, but if I don’t come home with at least a handful of envy inducing photos of the sun setting over a sparkling sea, it is not a holiday. One day, if I’m lucky enough to be taken to Lakes Como or Garda, I might be willing to make an exception, but until then, a beach is a dealbreaker. Thirdly, I want to do things I wouldn’t be able to do at home. I want to sit on a roof terrace overlooking the sea while I eat my lunch. I want to eat food that came out of the ocean that morning. I want to sip a gaudy cocktail, complete with fruit and an umbrella, at two in the afternoon on a weekday just ’cause. Otherwise, it’s not a holiday.
It’s been such a long time since I’ve experienced these things. See, I’d planned to spend my life with someone who simply wasn’t interested in ‘holidays’. It’s kind of enviable really, that someone can be so content with life that they just didn’t ever feel the need to be far, far away from it all. It was also sad though, because it meant I too didn’t get to feel the excitement in my tummy as I stepped off the plane and felt the warm air hit my face, or feel the sense of peace that comes from lying by the sea all day with the sun on my skin and the scent of sun cream in my nostrils. I guess some people will never understand the need to be released from your everyday life for a while, or how amazing it feels to know that no-one you don’t want to can reach you, or interrupt you, or make you do something you don’t want for a whole week. I cannot tell you how much I’ve been yearning for that all this time.
Before you feel too sorry for me though, fear not, because this week we booked my first ‘proper’ holiday in a very long time. In just two weeks I’ll be jetting off to Crete to get some much needed time away, and you have NO IDEA how excited I am. Like, bouncing off the walls excited. Everytime I start to feel a little glum or annoyed about something, I just research day trips, or look at bikinis, and I’m so going to bore you aaaaaaallllllll about it, before I go and after. I don’t even care that I’ll be that really annoying friend that posts pictures of hot dog legs by the pool everyday on Instagram, all #imonholidayandyourenot #sorrynotsorry. And you’ll have to put up with it, because I’ve got nearly 9 years of gloating to catch up on, so there!