And just like that another year was over…!
It’s been an odd one, 2017. A fun filled, fantastic, memorable year, but an odd one all the same. If I look back to this time last year, I had no idea what to expect. The year started on a good note, which was much needed after a very rocky and emotional 2015 and 2016, and yet I went in with trepidation. I had started 2016 in such positive spirits – full of excitement and plans and optimism for the year ahead and while the first six months were great, they had started to unravel by Summer, and the latter end of the year found me in a very sad and broken place. Things had just started to improve by Christmas, and when I woke up on January 1st 2017 I was starting to feel like myself again. Yet I was still somewhat scarred from the crash back down to earth when I dared to have such high expectations from the year before. I was painfully aware that there was still a long way to go before I could feel truly happy and secure again, and I didn’t want to jinx myself, so that first post of the year was happy, yet somewhat restrained.
Well, there will always be a part of me now that fears the good things in my life being snatched away, but I feel like maybe I’ve earned my moments gushing this year. Because it didn’t all fall apart again – in fact, it got stronger and better as the year went on. Sometimes, looking back, it’s hard to imagine the place we were in back then, and as much as it makes me sad to think about it, it also taught me a lot. I learned that some things, and some people, are worth fighting for, even if it seems fruitless at the time. I learnt the real meaning of putting someone else’s needs before your own. I learned that you can endure so much more than you think you can when things get tough. And most importantly, I also learned that no matter what hurt you’ve been through before, you have to have some faith that things will get better, and not be afraid to live your life. And now I’m starting to feel like one of those annoying quotes on Instagram with a picture of a waterfall in the background or something, so I’m going to move on.
2018 is looking very different for me than 2017 looked 12 months ago. For starters, I live in the countryside now – something I never in a million years could have predicted! I’m learning how to drive and hopefully will have my own car very soon. I have a home again! One I can decorate however I want and potter around to my heart’s content, and I share it with a wonderful person who wants to take care of me as much as I want to take care of him. For the first time in my life I feel financially stable – not that I’ve exactly been struggling for money the last few years, but I finally feel like should something unexpected happen there is money in the bank to fall back on, and that isn’t really something I’ve had before now. The only thing I failed at catastrophically was getting fit again, so maybe that’s one I’ll have to try harder at in 2018…!
So, it’s been a hard slog getting here, but I guess it finally feels like I have the kind of life I hoped I would by my mid 30s, and I’m not afraid to be optimistic about it anymore!
Here’s wishing you the greatest 2018, I hope it brings you all you hope for!