It feels apt that this is my 99th post. It’s almost like everything I’ve written until now belonged to another era, and the clock has reset itself to zero. Time to start counting towards something new – what that something new is I’ve no idea, but it’s kind of exciting. It’s kind of terrifying too, but I’m trying not to focus on that right now! It’s also apt that I’m writing this on one of the first days of January and as my first post of 2016. People often talk about New Year as a blank page, a chance to start again with a clean slate, and I tend to scoff at that a little bit, because, well, I’m a cynical old bitch at times, but I guess this year for me it really is true.
On New Year’s Day, instead of my usual ritual of nursing a hangover and gorging myself on leftover Christmas treats, I spent the day packing up my life into boxes, ready to move back in with my Mum & Dad and start afresh. It’s not somewhere I want to be – does anyone want to be living with their parents at 32? With most of the possessions they’ve worked hard for sat in a storage container and no real idea about where they might be living in 6 months time or what life might look like? This time last year I thought I had life pretty much figured out. I’d worked my ass off to get to that point and it isn’t easy making the choice to walk away from it all, especially when there are parts of that life you don’t want to disappear altogether. It’s the little things that were the hardest – packing away things that hold memories is sad, but throwing out the sillier things is harder – cinema stubs, a seashell off the beach or a long forgotten Birthday card for example. So it hasn’t been a happy couple of days and at times it didn’t feel like there was much to be celebrating.
BUT: There WILL be good things to come. I’m not leaving it all for good, and life could be a hell of a lot worse. I already have so much to look forward to this year, so here’s to 2016! I hope she’s good to you all (and me!) and who knows, maybe I’ll be less of a moany cow this year! New beginnings and all that!