Right, with all my worldly possessions either packed up in boxes or sprawled across my room in an unsightly manner, it’s going to be a little while before I can get back to boring you with my unremarkable outfits, so I’ve had to get a little creative with my next few posts. They mostly involve outfits I didn’t get around to posting before xmas (Phew! There are still outfit posts! I can literally hear your collective sigh of relief…!) but I thought I’d also try something new and do a beauty post.
Now, this is a bit out of the norm for me, basically because I don’t actually have any clue about make-up or beauty regimes. It’s a very hit and miss process for me, and has been since I started experimenting as a pre-teen, but I seem to manage to leave the house without looking like a clown most days (I think?) so here goes….
I’m not going to bother talking you through the face. Everybody’s skin tone, skin type and preferences are just so different that there doesn’t seem much point in going into great detail about what I use as it might look completely ridiculous on you. As far as technique is concerned, well, I have none. I’d love to pretend I’ve got some Kim Kardashian style contouring skills, but I don’t. My basic approach is to, erm, rub it on my face and hope I don’t get an orange tide mark around my jaw. In case you actually are interested, on this particular occasion I used Clinique’s Beyond Perfecting Foundation & Concealer in Golden Neutral. I also need to make a cringey confession that it came out of a travel size tube my Mum gave me from a recent Bonus Time purchase, that I save for special occasions, because, hello? £25 a bottle! I normally use a bog standard L’Oreal BB cream, but don’t tell anyone I told you. Just for completeness, I also used L’Oreal’s Nude Magique Universal Blush because I just can’t be trusted with powder and a brush. I also have a smidge of bronze eyeshadow on my cheekbones. No, that isn’t a clever tip, I’d just run out of bronzer. Moving on….
I opted for simple gold and bronze effect for my eye make-up. I could try to fob you off with ‘I wanted something simple that wouldn’t take away from my statement lips’ but I fear you’d see right through me. Besides I already gave myself away with my earlier statement that I can’t be trusted with powder and a brush, so the truth is it’s best for me to stick with something neutral that won’t take all night to correct if I spill it down my already made up cheeks. The neutral eyeshadow in question came from Clinique’s All About Eyes Quad in Teddy Bear, and yes, you are correct in thinking that someone bought me this as a gift. The price is a give away, huh? Again, my technique here was largely to get as much of it on my eyelid as possible. I then spent half an hour trying to perfect my L’Oreal Superliner flicks, realising they were wonky, wiping them off, starting again, crying a little bit, then accepting that it’s actually my eyes that are wonky and throwing in the towel. I finished off with a slick of L’Oreal Volume Million Lashes Feline Mascara (yep, I use L’Oreal a hell of a lot, but it’s basically always 3 for 2 in Boots so…), and I just felt like an actual beauty blogger writing that sentence, get me! I’d tell you this is my favourite mascara, but in truth every time I go they seem to have brought out a new one that I just can’t resist trying, and I’m not sure I can remember the last time I had the same one more than once. What can I say, I’m a bit of a beauty whore. As for my eyebrows… lets not talk about the eyebrows….
Onto that statement lip. Now, I don’t tend to spend huge amounts on make-up generally, but I do like to splash out on a treat now and then, and that treat is normally a lipstick, mainly because I only really wear it to go out (as in ‘out’ out, not just out!) so I consider it value for money. As it was a special occasion I wore my absolute favourite, and in my opinion the holy grail of lipsticks, Chanel Rouge Allure Luminous Satin in Passion. I mean, if red lipstick has to have a name it really should be ‘Passion’, don’t you think? I’ve had this lipstick for around 3 years now and it’s still going strong, and just like that I think a million beauty bloggers just burst into flames, because you’re meant to throw everything out at least every three months or some such nonsense. Stuff that, that’s just crazy talk! I can’t really give you any tips on how not to be that girl that smudges it down her face or gets it all over her teeth, because honestly, I AM that girl who smudges it down her face and gets it all over teeth (Aren’t you so glad I wrote this post?? How did you ever apply make-up before I came along to show you how??) I also don’t have any tips on make the colour last longer unfortunately, because to be fair, I’ve found that no matter how expensive the lipstick and how cleverly you apply it, if you plan on eating, drinking and dancing and getting a little worse for wear, you WILL end up with a red ring around your lips and nothing in the middle. It’s inevitable. You will also probably wake up with that red ring stuck fast for about a week because you fell asleep without taking it off properly, or maybe that’s just me…
Finally an area I can share some expertise on! I’ve been painting my nails weird and wacky colours since I was about 12 and we used to get them for 50p a bottle down at Birmingham Rag Market. Once my sister and I spent an afternoon lining them up and found we pretty much had enough bottles to stretch a whole wall. I’m not sure what the point of this exercise was now, but the point is, we had A LOT of them, and I’ve picked up the odd trick along the way. I generally keep it cheap and cheerful for the nails. I have a couple of Chanel polishes, and to be frank, the women that rave about these clearly don’t do housework, because it chips like a bitch! Anyway, my polish collection largely consists of Barry M, Essie, Kiko or the free bottles of Nails Inc and Ciate that come with InStyle and Marie Claire. I have no shame admitting that. Well, maybe a little bit. It was Barry M I went with here. This particular shade, Ruby Slippers, is worn every Christmas without fail (much like the shoes it matched so well) because it’s just so damn FESTIVE. Here comes tip number one – don’t wait until Christmas to buy a bottle because it WILL sell out, EVERYWHERE. I discovered this the hard way. Tip number two – wear a base coat, because it will also stain your nails a really attractive nicotine colour for a really long time. I found this out the hard way too. Tip number three – you might also want to wear a top coat because it has quite a rough texture. I’d definitely recommend this if you plan on wearing it on your toes, unless you want to wear right through your socks. Yep, you guessed it, the hard way. I learn most of life’s lessons the hard way it seems. My fourth and final tip is this. This stuff doesn’t just look like diamonds, it’s as hard as diamonds. Be prepared to give your nails a good old soak in remover before even attempting to rub some cotton wool over them or you will simply find you still have red glittery nails with added cotton fibres. That, or you could do what I absolutely don’t do and paint enough layers on that it flakes off in big chunks in the shower….
The end result – I guess I scrub up ok in the end, despite my amateur approach! I’ll let you be the judge of that though.